My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
