bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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