when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize