its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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