i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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