I molested 6 butterflies tonight
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
