Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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