He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
