Got a toothbrush?
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
MIDGETS
????
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize