Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
