you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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