Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
