TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
