I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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