Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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