Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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