zippers are such a cool invention
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
