Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
