i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
