Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
