We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
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Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
ok first of all what the fuck
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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