is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
