I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
