i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
