I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I want to fling myself into the sun
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
