It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
