put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
