I accidentally had phone sex last night
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
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I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
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The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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