i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
