Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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