you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
