I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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