I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I'm having to shit out rocks
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
