we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
