what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
