Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Randomize