Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Randomize
