I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
