I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
did i walk over a car last night?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
