I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
