You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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