No stitches, just platelets and will power
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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