Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize