My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
