still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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