Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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