The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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