You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize