Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
