Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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