a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
