If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
