when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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