You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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