it was like fucking gandolphs beard
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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