if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
