no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
