So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
