It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize