i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
