There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
