I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I need water and some morals
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
