just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
