she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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