last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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