All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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